this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
