1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Randomize
