i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
