Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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