when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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