Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He shit in the fireplace
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