Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
