i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
