I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
