I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
