I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
