totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have fence marks all over my body
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
