i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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