wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
