Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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