Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
