guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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