so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
