No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
