; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
