All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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