It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
