he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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