that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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