i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
