so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
