Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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