I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
