There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
