it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
