I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She's the barista slut.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just want to make out with him forever
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
