You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
