Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
