i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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