I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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