oh god the rape fog is back!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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