Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
