question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So. Much. Porn.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
