i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
