We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
