New invention idea: vibrating tampons
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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