Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
