So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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