my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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