i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
