I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
