So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
God, I missed his penis.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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