someone get that fucking seahorse.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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