I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
