Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
